mauricetherapy

I have said this a thousand times; women STOP your ‘pesa pap’ lifestyles and expectations. Some of you don’t even share your expectations you expect your man to read your mind! We are not telepaths nor do we communicate via blue tooth. Money does not fall from the sky neither should you apply unrealistic pressure on a man to deliver what he can’t.

Not everyman wants to drive a Jaguar and show off, I have seen men in their late 30’s and in their 40’s driving pimped cars, that is ridiculous, you premature ejaculators should get a mature hobby and give room to the teens, how women find you attractive displaced in that pimped car I will never understand the logic. Thankfully some men would rather be comfortable in their jobs and they usually make sure they provide what they can ‘afford’. We have a culture of comparing ‘who has what’ and trust me money does help but it can break up the best of relationships.

Women, no all but many of you, STOP spreading your legs based on the horse power of a man’s car. And to the men, especially to those so called ballers ‘my ass’, you are also part of the problem. STOP courting women with fake lifestyles that you cannot maintain, tell a woman exactly what you can afford to sustain so that she chooses to stay or leave, if she runs off regardless of how ‘HOT’ she is consider that a blessing because she was going to make your life hell in the long run.

Lastly, to those men who are sleeping around with their boy’s girlfriend or wife STOP it, you are breaking an old code between men. I know some of you quarter century dudes have no idea what I’m talking about when I say ‘code’, in short mingle but don’t shit at your door step. If you don’t get my drift go back to school or go ask an older guy what I’m on about.

Personally I think you should face a firing squad if you break the code. If you have to sleep with your friend’s woman to prove to yourself that you are a man then you are less of a man than you think. You probably have self esteem problems and your ego is heightened by such ‘no go zone’ actions. You need help.

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With great pleasure for once in many years I asked a bride to be to list 3 things she expects from her groom once he becomes her hubby, and she replied….

‎1) she would like him to find her attractive always and to continue satisfying her in the bedroom

‎2) be her best friend

3) provide for her though she will also contribute financially, their marriage is just an extension of their union

I totally applaud her for being the ideal example of a true woman.

Now sadly and I mean SADLY…. the first thing I normally hear is that they expect the man to provide, why, because its a man’s place to provide for his woman. That is absolute bollocks, thereafter I assert my wisdom and educate ‘the poor girl’ so that she can be proud to still be married 10 years from now.

For every bridal shower I attend it is my mission to provide enough facts that can sustain a healthy mutual marriage. I am never pleased to hear of break ups but most who do break up only did so because they did not apply the same efforts and enthusiasm in their relationship as they do their jobs/careers.

Any caring man will give back to his woman. Everyone has a role to play. This is to the MEN out there. If you truly care about your woman then, for her efforts that benefit you it is paramount that you show her that you appreciate her. There’s no formula or gift that says I care or I love more than the another. People who think otherwise are just materialistic and should probably face a firing squad. Its the thought that counts, if you don’t believe in the sentiment then ‘good luck’ with finding sincere people in your life.

Just to give an example, I’m not big on my own birthday and neither do I expect a gift(s) but if someone gave me a hand made birthday card opposed to them going to purchase an expensive card with a shit midi file ‘battery powered’ melody which I will eventually bin after a few days. I would appreciate their effort of going through the trouble of making the card themselves, and it actually tells me how much I mean to them. And I would keep the card the same way I keep unique wedding cards.

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Personally I have no respect for a woman who puts a value on herself when she is about to get married. For years you have been a man’s girlfriend, he has been a great guy to you (let’s assume), and you have waited, anticipated for that day when he goes down on his knees and proposes. Finally the day comes and you are over the moon, he even earns major bonga points for his romantic touch that led to the big question. So at what point do you decide that your strong bond no longer exists until your husband to be pays your parents some unrealistic amount which usually consists of a mix of livestock and cash.

The stage of offerings dowry used to be a form of appreciating the girl’s parents over a period of years but nowadays its a commercial venture which is just a contradiction of real partnership. If you really wanted him to marry you then why are you now teaming up or should I say ganging up with dear daddy and mummy to extort him! Talk of indirect gold digging. It offends me and many men when the excuse to extort is based on the years of investment your Dad, in particular, put into schooling you and raising you. That was his responsibility as it will be for your husband who will be so broke he won’t afford the honeymoon by the time your family is done with him.

Let’s not beat around the bush, you are actually putting a value on your vagina in my opinion so why in hell should I not put a value on my shaft which makes your eyes roll and at times due to the immense pleasure you sound like you’ve been caught in a bear trap probably getting off from the pain.

Clever women, unlike the one in this photo, know that siding with their folks is always the beginning of the end for their marriage. Especially in these economic times I would advise any man who notices lack of support from his ‘wife to be’ to just bail, you might as well do it sooner than later.

Too many couples are going through marriage rifts due to financial pressures that were escalated by dishing out more than what the man could afford to gain a wife who after all is done will still expect a certain life style forgetting that ‘daddy dearest’ is the reason why you are broke. Which means you will kiss good bye to that mortgage or other investments that you had planned for. In short starting a marriage in debt or with limited funds is a recipe for disaster.  If you enter the domain of marriage as single units who will only be bonded by the ceremony then you are doomed. Give each other support every step of the way, especially the women, if you have to put a value to yourself then consider what your man can afford and stand up for him when it comes to your parents. There’s no point pressuring a man to deliver the wedding of the year after giving your folks a fortune only for you to divorce after a year or less. I see it too often so you can disagree with my advise but do it at your peril.

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Men and women we all send signals to each other through body language. Some of us have mastered the art of reading the right signals that avoid embarrassing outcomes from mixed signals. Let me introduce you to the Alpha male. He is witty, charming and very confident, he has a sense of arrogance that women like, and he has the mentality of “I have nothing to lose and everything to gain”. He is the guy in any social arena that can either be very visible or he blends in but in a very calculative way.

He takes no chances when he interacts with women; he has learnt how to read a woman’s body language. He will meet a woman and start to chat her up as he assess her interests by observing her face, yes he can tell within minutes if a woman is interested in him, it’s all in the eye contact and positive facial expression. Once he is certain that there’s a seed of interest depending on his agenda, for the night, he will determine through their conversation whether the woman is looking for ‘a good time’ or she just finds him ‘manly’ and more interesting in comparison with the other men at that particular venue. If she is worth his time, he will stick around and charm her some more, lay a foundation he can build on. What I’m saying is, if she is worth the ‘marinating period’ (when a man doesn’t rush a woman into having a one night stand, he exchanges numbers with her to enjoy the spoils at a later date). Many Alpha male use this strategy, it’s like hunting plenty of stock for the winter or dry spells. This is how it works ‘talk to plenty of women you desire’ exchange numbers, keep flirting for a period of time (weeks, months) and the more women you connect with the better the odds of getting laid over the months to come, they are simply marinating like meat to be cooked later. Hence why some men ask their Alpha male friends “how do you keep getting laid so often”, well that’s how. Talking of friends, in almost every click of ‘boys’ there’s undoubtedly an Alpha male who always gets praise from his buddies, he scores highly with the ladies. Now you know how.

I have mentioned ‘eye contact’ has one of the key indicators for an Alpha male. A good example would be the reason why when you want to evaluate ‘the truth’ you will most of the time ask the person to ‘look you in the eyes’. The Alpha male uses that technique to filter potential attraction. When he goes to a club an Alpha will not sit anywhere, if you observe closely over a period of club nights you will notice that within a click of friends the Alpha male will always want to be in-front of the pack so that he can select a suitable position to achieve the best visual of all the women at the venue. Sometimes he is known to sit faces the ‘ladies room’ to visually screen them as they pass by. He is a true predator.

The Alpha male will sit at his most suitable place and attempt ‘eye contact’ with several women of his taste. When a woman makes eye contact with him, and then she looks away more than two or three times, that to a Alpha male is a sign to engage. When he approaches her to spark dialogue if the woman maintains eye contact, she is definitely interested, an Alpha male will know this better than most men. If she happens to break eye contact, that may signal that she may have just been admiring and nothing more but he will still reach her side and give her his business card after a brief chat, he will make sure that he makes it clear that he wants her, with the card in her hand she is now either going to dispose of it or keep it. Most of the time women will keep the card out of curiosity. And you know curiosity eventually kills the ‘pussy cat’ if you get my drift! That’s the perfect marinating strategy.

The Alpha male also has other signals that he looks out for, such as a woman playing with her hair or playing with her neck in an almost ‘sexy motion’, this is to draw his attention.  It’s an unconscious action that women perform when they see or feel something that provokes a moment of thrill, excitement or desire. Another massive give away is in the movement of a woman’s arms or hands, the Alpha male will keenly observe her motions and decide when to strike. The Alpha male understands nonverbal signals and translates them with a very high success rate. While engaging in conversation an Alpha male will quickly asks questions ‘about her, her interests’ that will give him an edge over other males, he will want to take charge at the same time be very attentive watching her every move and listening to her every word. He knows how to compliment her without sounds ‘fake’. Over time he will have mastered to notice newly done hair, nails, and a unique item on her body like a dress, bracelet, chain, and tattoo. All these things he looks for make it easier to talk about things that relate to her, hence why many men fail in the initial engagement level because the woman notices that the man is trying to break the ice repeatedly as he seeks to find common ground, trying too hard to impress, when topics of discussion are staring at him right in the face but unlike an Alpha male other men take awhile to notice and to finally get a woman’s interest.

In a nutshell why do women like the Alpha male? Well he is confident and has a very manly assertive nature and he knows how to judge the degree of assertiveness depending on the woman, he easily adapts to any woman’s interest. I’m sure women are asking if an Alpha male can be a suitable ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’. The answer is yes the Alpha male can be the most loyal dedicated man, if he decides to give; he gives his all, the only downside to an Alpha male, if I can call it that is that he wants the same affection accorded to him. A woman who gives less will soon find herself confronted with his disappointments. The Alpha male will always voice his concerns; he likes to maintain a good thing so he will fight for it till he can do no more. And yes indeed he can be the player of players but when he meets the one woman who keeps him motivated and feeds his World with positive energy, constantly soothing his ego, he will stay loyal giving the woman overwhelming attention.

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Firstly, when you come to me for help please do not turn into ‘Mr and Miss know it all’ because clearly you wouldn’t need me if you knew how to resolve your problems, yes people in an ideal World are entitled to their opinion, however by the time you come to seek my assistance your opinion is worthless and time wasting.

It takes two to tango. There’s a reason why that statement is used, it does not take a nuclear scientist to work out that two people who allege to love and care for each other and ‘really’ want to mend their relationship will….

(a) Follow my program to the letter

(b) Email me with feedback at the specified day (without fail)

(c) Will not give me some BS excuses of why they could not communicate

(d) Will not expect me to push them along, I can only guide you but I will not spoon feed you (its a twosome not threesome)

Secondly if you really want to be with your partner you will make time, find time, allocate time to follow my program willingly without having one of you more committed than the other. Lack of interest and effort especially in my book only tells me that you like spending your hard earned cash on therapy that you won’t even take serious. Some of you have been disappointed with the program I give to follow, why? Because it’s not what you wanted as a solution, well if you already knew of the remedy ‘why do you need me’?

The programs I give are there to test your true commitment to each other, to evaluate your eagerness to spice things up between you. Couples that have followed the programs I give them depending on their situation have had great results over time in regards to improved openness which leads to better communication. With their newly found code of honesty, the honesty is not thrown back at their face as it was before. When you give a human being who wants to be with you exclusively ‘freedom of speech’ then you find they will gradually open up to you instead of sharing with others who may have negative energy to dilute your bond.

Relationships are not hard. They are made hard by the unrealistic bi-laws set within them with a mix of incompatible couples living together.  Some of you will follow your partners will, their expectations, their rules, their terms, their word without question only for you because you are human to eventually one day say ‘you have had enough’, that moment may come 12 years into the relationship. That is 12 years that you can not give each other back so quit ‘acting’ and state what makes you happy and if you both understand each other’s needs you may actually get to accomplish your vow of ’till death do us part’.

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According to me an ex can be anyone you were ever involved with, the time period or any relationship titles are not relevant, its simply two people who had some form of obligation to each other and things eventually went south. Let’s review what happens to relationships. How cozy everything and everyone is then the walls cave in, why?

A fling; two people meet up, maybe spend some time to know each other then one of them in time if they read the signals of attraction right, they take a chance and reveal their liking for the other. They then make it clear that they don’t want a very ‘serious’ or ‘heavy’ relationship, they just want a fling. Personally I’ve never literally weighed a relationship so I have no idea how heavy it can get!

Anyway back to the story in hand, after receiving the ‘declaration’ of fatal attraction the other person (normally the woman) has to decide whether they are OK with a non serious relationship, meaning they are not entirely exclusive to each other. The woman then says ‘yes’ to the idea of seeing this guy. At this point it’s pretty clear that whatever happens between them should not grow beyond the status of a fling.

Do you realize that this fling type of relationship slowing evolves into friends with benefits? This phenomenon occurs with frequent visitations that end up steamy if you get my drift. Oh yes it does, agree or disagree your mind will play tricks on you and you won’t even know it. At this point you know each other pretty well and it helps if you were almost hitting the friendship only zone, but got derailed and fell for each other instead, because by then you share stuff that you would normally not share with a random person who you met at a social place and liked immediately. Because human beings with their ‘first impressions count’ theory have a way of sugar coating their personalities hence why every ‘dog’ used to be a nice charming guy ‘you see the circle’ of inconclusive profiling! But hey there are some good loving people out there ‘somewhere’ I think it’s far, you may need a visa to reach them ‘I don’t know’ when you find them do let me know.

So at the stage of friends with benefits the two get comfy in this relationship setting and without knowing one suddenly has a change of heart. What change of heart you ask! Well they one day, while in the house, just enjoying each other’s company stare deep into their ‘friend with benefits eyes’ and see a new person, a reborn sense of liking that has matured to ‘Love’ but they dare not say because it will ruin everything. Which means they are now going to play a role instead of being ‘themselves’ as they were before.

What has changed, come on let’s not BS each other…. what has changed really; the man is still as handsome or ugly as before, his penis is still the same size unless a new pill has been launched for mega girth and length, his bedroom skills are still above average ‘hopefully’, the girl’s appearance is still the same ‘sizzling hot’, more to the point her vagina has not moved to her chin that could be challenging during a BJ ‘so much choice in one area’. I mean everything can’t be upstairs, no more going ‘down town’ and I do love my Chinese if you get my drift!

The relationship has mutated, one of you is so in love but can’t say it and the other is playing by the same rules enjoying every moment as they did before but wait!!!! They notice a change in the playfulness of the other, the play is more sentimental, more lovey dovey, more ‘honey’ can we just cuddle, more ‘baby’ please massage me gently and after I’ll surprise you with a delicious meal…. the other is thinking ‘what happened to us tearing each others clothes off at a drop of a hat’ whenever we met anywhere and everywhere.

Now it’s all mushy and tender ‘why are we marinating our meat and having romantic picnics instead of answering to our primal instincts and having animalistic sex out of town in a foreign place. It’s not even called ‘love making’ its sensual but rough ‘you feel me’, its sweaty and no one cares about the shower, the natural human scent does just fine to arouse the shaft but now Armani, Gucci and Calvin Klein have invaded your sex life to the point where at times you’re finding it hard to breath with all the new nostril overpowering fragrances that in turn lower libido or ‘staying power’ because you need air to flow through your blood to maintain your erection. But for some reason designer products and a ‘love struck partner’ who has totally gone through some form of metamorphosis into someone you just don’t recognize is not enough ‘evidence’ for you to flag up an anomaly in the relationship. Instead just like them you start to play your ‘nothing has changed role’ and yet people are surprised that at one point they give up on each other. It’s because of this faking, this acting that was not necessary that caused your relationship type to collapse. If you find a formula that works for you please ‘stick to it’.

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Being ‘honesty’ is only appreciated in certain forums however between women and men it seems to not benefit the men even though women demand for it. I could give example as a therapist but we would be here all day and night.

The word ‘Love’ should be associated with the human ability to ‘care’ for another human being period but from years of experience in my therapy field the word is usually used (mostly by men) to either convince, deceive, attract, confirm or assure the opposite sex, all 5 words are strategically placed in sentences to gain access, to gain a level of trust, we all know where I am going with this so I don’t need to expound.

Have the balls to state your case without using the word ‘Love’

However as they say there is always two sides to a story or situation, for instance women who may disagree with me will say that they need the word(s) to be uttered by a man (or woman) to feel secure and yet many can attest that after dating several guys the word ‘Love’ never got them anything in the long run but pure ‘heartache’. This means short term solutions are just like cheap stuff ‘its expensive to the human heart’ because a broken heart is the end result but they say a heart mends and one forgives the past hence why people have more than one ex.

The secure status I mentioned is what I call ‘artificial security’ which is just a trick of the mind but who is tricking who, most of the time you trick yourself into believing the word ‘Love’ carries weight, unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world where two people some how attracted to each other ‘for some reason’ can state their intentions ‘openly’ without judgment.

In short society has taught us how to manipulate each other with each of us being better at the game then the other hence why we have ‘players’ as they are called. People who intentionally embark on a journey to achieve their own gratification without ‘care’ for the other involved party.

Then again what do I know maybe I’ am wrong maybe I am right, who am I to categories and pigeon hole people and their intentions; that can only mean every body is happy and I must be on some really strong meds!

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If it is paramount that you have some one on the side then play the game well, here are simple rules.

Keep both women happy (if your pocket allows, or if at all you can multitask).
Don’t be surprised that your woman will find out eventually and she may decide your relationship is not worth saving however for the unlucky men ‘she won’t leave you’, no no no she will just play you at you own game and ‘tough luck’ for you because you will never play that game better than a woman.

It is indeed every man’s nightmare to picture his woman in bed with another but you made your bed so please sleep in it without complaints. If your wife for instance is screaming another man’s name you must first ask yourself…. why are you sleeping around on her, ….why are you sleeping with another man’s girlfriend/wife not expecting the same to happen to you? It’s a fair question!

Decisions you make today will mold what tomorrow brings.

To the WOMEN:

When you decide to date a ‘taken’ man whether he has a long term girlfriend or wife remember this, it’s a position you went along with…. do not do the following:

1) Expect to replace the first lady (if I may call her that), why you ask? Well because even if you do replace her the unfortunate thing is the newly acquired title will only bring you the hurt your predecessor endured. Men love side-kicks cause they don’t bitch as much and when they do they use their feminine side to get their way, where as with many first ladies somewhere along the line the female side fades away and you know there can never be two ‘males’ in a relationship/home, it gradually destroys a man’s ego displacing his manhood which in-turn takes away vital attributes that keep most men interested in a woman like ‘libido’….it doesn’t matter how hot you are once a man’s libido is lowered and his ‘animal instinct of lust’ fades for you, you are surely doomed.

2) Don’t bitch when ‘first lady’ attends an event that your were invited to, he basically invited you because he wants to boost his ego by having his two women around, one of you he has to be with and the other when he looks at you he wishes he could get away and undress you (although he undresses you mentally many a times during the event) so being a ‘spare wheel’ isn’t that bad after all ah!!!!

3) Last but certainly not least remember the time you spend together is mostly dependent on his home commitments i.e daily/weekly schedule/routine….he is there when he can get away. Some men are in very loving relationships and multitask efficiently or should I say effectively! Others however are driven by the hunger for an ego boosting social arena hence why ‘you’ the side-kick are in his life. You are an ego fueling mechanism.

Oh just a polite word to the women who are planning to play their men as a form of ‘revenge’, please ask yourself is it worth it with the ‘health hazards’ of today and so that I don’t look like am denying you the opportunity ‘you can go ahead’, but have in mind that men are not emotionally attached to multiple partners, yes as women you are much better ‘players’ however by the time you adjust to your first ‘fling’ he will probably be on his 5th, 10th, 15th woman.

For men this game is a sport we take the game very serious but our victims are not taken seriously at all, it’s like Tuna fishing ‘harsh’ conditions are our territory.

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It has puzzled me for years that even after knowing that as men we were born with the ability to take rejection, we continue to persist on one girl instead of moving on to the next, sorry girls, its not that your not worth chasing, its the time factor.

The period that some men chose to chase you for even after you have made it very clear that you are not interested, men ‘take the hint’ it’s like a big billboard, again we were born to be rejected many times in life especially as young inexperienced men before our mastering levels are acquired we get rejection after rejection after rejection.

Here’s a great example, why are you begging for ‘some’, dude when she grabs for something else other than you ‘like a novel’, your fate is sealed roll over and sleep no ‘mill and boon’ erotic escapades for you.

The older guys will understand this…. if you are in a club ‘lets stay’ if you take 2 hours to try courting one girl and within the 1st 30mins to an hour max there are no signs of interest then you are drumming up a night of loneliness…. some men know its a numbers game and the odds are always in your favor if you dont limit yourself ‘hey thats just the rules of the game’. So for those of you who tend to go home without even a peck on the cheek I would urge you change your tactics.

But if you are really bizarrely still lucky after your useless tactics have failed you, you might end up being a woman ‘chips funga’ but dont hold your breathe it is rare and usually she is so boozed up when she pulls you to the car ‘her car’, cause you dont drive, in her mind you are Denzel however if in the morning you awaken to a very inhospitable environment…. at that point just know when she woke up she was like ‘what the fuck’, asking herself “where were my friends when I picked up this primate”….hence no breakfast for you….my advise…. dress and quietly disappear.

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Talking on the phone is an important way to keep connected to people, especially as people are so mobile phone addicted these days, I’ve been brain storming trying to figure out why I don’t love talking on the phone like I used to when I was much younger, and I think I have it figured out.

When there was an actual phone, with a cord to the wall, it felt very grounding. I could sit on my bed, or on my couch, and give my complete focus to the conversation in an environment I had intentionally created for the purpose.

There was a place and time and purpose to the connection and when I was having it I felt really present and happy.

Today, we have conversations while we are putting on our make-up, dressing, eating, driving, while out of town trying to share quality time, even some of us carry the phone to the shower and stop the water once we hear the ring tone. The phone might as well be listed in biology as part of our vital organs! The conversations we have steer more around “where are you, where are you going, what time will you be home or wherever”. During the call I find myself distracted and may say things I don’t necessarily intend to say or agree to things possibly I should not be agreeing to while on the mobile phone.

The phone might also get cut off, poor reception, calls comes in, texts arrive, or someone interrupts me. Granted, I understand that it allows us to talk more, talk across great distances and in remote places, and talk less expensively.  If we get separated from our friends while hiking across some mountain we don’t have to look for a pay phone or a smoke sign to locate each other so yes I know there are many benefits to mobile technology but does the phone have to be part of our daily life to exist!.

It just seems we are maybe replacing some of the quality for quantity, intimacy of information for easy connection.  Those long conversations cuddled up on the couch, with a cord keeping me stuck to the ground so I can’t just quickly turn the oven off and bring in the groceries.  A candle lit setting, your pet lying at your feet, and the feeling of a conversation that is intentional and sincere, with the mind in the now.

The revelation for me is that this is what I am missing with the invention of the mobile phone. That I need my space, I need a warm, comfortable place where I shut everything off and truly connect. So today why don’t we all set up our space and test out the theory, and see if our passion to connect doesn’t grow stronger.

The mobile phone is great when you want to send a quick reminder of how much you miss her or him. It’s convenient and fast. But it lacks the romance and true connection that a one on one conversation would ignite. Yes we all text each other “I Love You” and really whether via text or face to face what counts is if you really mean it. That said, I personally think that hearing the voice face to face, looking into each other’s eyes adds a sense of tangible value to those words or any other positive words shared between couples, hence why a man in his right mind would not officially propose via his mobile phone.

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