Dear Matheka,
I want to thank you for the advice you gave me during the session with my chama. But I think I have put myself in hot soup since then. Due to my frustrations in my marriage I 
decided to embark on my own adventure and now I am conflicted in so many ways. As you know I have been married for 6 years and despite trying to spice things up my sex life has been extremely pathetic. My husband has always reminded me that we are Catholics and that sex is sacred. He only knows missionary and he says any form of oral sex is sinful and demonic. I am only 26, please help me.
Maurice replies,
You mentioned hot soup!
She replies,
I was getting to that. I kind of flirted with your friend who was part of the live sex during
the chama session. We exchanged numbers solely for his massage service and we ended up doing much more. Matheka, please do not judge me but I had never felt a penis that big, my husband’s is very small in comparison. The way he licked my pussy was amazing and I had never given a blowjob before. He said I was a good student. It was the first time for me to orgasm without having to play with my clitoris. How do I get over him?
Maurice asks,
When you decided to explore with him, what did you mutually agree to? I know him well so I am sure this is just a fling.
She replies,
He was very clear that it was just fun but after fucking him several times, I can’t do without him. He told me we can fuck for as long as I want, as long as I know the rules. But I feel he is being selfish.
Maurice asks,
How is he being selfish and if I may ask, how many times have you had sex with him since you met him in November?
She replies,
He is selfish because he wants me to provide a venue and pay him every time we have sex and yet he is also enjoying the sex. I have met him 5 times.
Maurice replies,
You do realise that you need him more than he needs you. He has acquired his sexual 
prowess over the years so for you to experience him you must pay him. I believe those are part of the rules that he stipulated. A man who has his level of sexual vigor has value. It’s unfortunate that we live in a World where ‘the penis’ has no or little value. Men who are procreational may not have value but all the guys I work with in relation to delivering sexual ecstasy are recreational sexual lovers. I have taught them to value their penis. I am also a bit conflicted because I am wondering how I can be of help in your predicament.
She replies,
I understand what you are saying but does he have to charge me all the time. I feel I can be more of value to him in the long run if he treats me like a woman instead of a client. I feel like he is holding back, he told me he likes me and misses our time together, does that not sound like a man who is playing safe?
Maurice replies,
My dear, I hear you but to me you sound like a woman who just wanted to venture out and at some point you fell in-love with a man who you knew was out of reach. Men generally have some form of liking towards a woman they are having sex with. It’s also normal for a man to miss your sex and your company but it is not a sign of exclusivity or obligation towards you. If the sex was bad we would not be having this dialogue, so it is good to love the sex but don’t over step the terms & conditions and love the man. I also need to remind you that I cannot have any part in your romance. You have a choice, extinguish your fling with him and return to your Catholic husband or continue your arrangement with expectations that do not go beyond ‘having fun’.
She replies,
He said he has a girlfriend and if so where is he continuing his relations with me?
Maurice replies,
I cannot speak on is behave, only he can answer that question. However, you must have known that your relations are both fun and business for him. And even if he has a girlfriend that is none of your business. I am certain he is not bothered about you having a husband either. Again, you are asking questions as if this fling could ever graduate into something else more exclusive. Clearly from your own marriage status you have learnt that acquiring marital status is overrated especially when your compatibility is lacking. As much as money is great, if he has agreed to see you 5 times then he must enjoy sex with you. I know him, he is extremely picky. If that is not good enough for you then you need to reconsider your sexual escapades with him before you land yourself into an emotional place of no return. He is a seasoned man, set in his ways. He can sustain a casual sex affair for years without plaguing unnecessary emotions into it. That is something most women can’t do, so understand the game you are playing and decide on whether you are in or out.
She replies,
I am meeting him on Saturday, I will let you know how it goes.
Maurice replies,
Have fun.
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Girlfriend, you’ve got it all twisted. This guy is providing a service at a fee. You have a mutually beneficial arrangement: you get what you want, he gets paid for the service. He is not looking for sex from you. He already has a girlfriend, so technically, he doesn’t need you.
Have you ever seen a prostitute fail to charge a client? Also, doesn’t the client also provide the venue? Your arrangement is no different. If prostitutes had to pay for a room, then they would make no money. You have a need. You have to pay up.
Finally, we frequent restaurants that we like on a regular basis. Have you ever been tempted to ask your favorite of choice why they charge you every time? Exactly. The issue does not arise because you know the drill: if you eat, you have to pay. Likewise, you want this guy’s service, then you have to pay. If you persist in your line of thought, he will simply take his business elsewhere. You will lose out on a good thing. Think about it. You are not his girlfriend. You are a business transaction.