Dear Maurice,
A friend of mine said you could help me with a problem regarding my boyfriend. We have been dating for 9 months and I really love the guy, to be honest I am deeply in love with him.
Maurice asks,
What seems to be the problem?
She replies,
I think he has been taking me for a ride, I feel we don’t want the same things in life.
Maurice replies,
Please explain.
She replies,
When we met it was all fun and games but after our talk the other day I kind of realised that is all he wants from me. I told him that its time to move to the next level, he asked what that meant and I told him that I wanted him exclusively as my man.
Maurice asks,
What did he say?
She replies,
His reply was both heart breaking and shocking, he said he was not built for a monogamous relationship. He reminded me of what he had said when we were on our first date.
Maurice replies,
Which was?
She replies,
He had told me that he was not into having one woman in his life and if we were going to have anything I needed to accept it or walk away. Maurice, I thought he was testing me at the time and I stayed on because we hadn’t gotten serious like we are now. I thought by now he would have changed his mind about his polygamous ways. I have given him my all, my body and mind. Why can’t he appreciate all that I have done for him. I have slaved in his kitchen to make him delicious meals and done his laundry only for him to reject me despite the love I have for him. Maurice is this fair?
Maurice replies,
I can only give you my analysis on your predicament based on facts. It is evident that he made it crystal clear that he was not going to be exclusive to you. It is also clear that your thoughts reflect certain expectations that were not shared on your part during your first date. That is where all your problems started. He read you his terms and conditions and you jumped right in and signed on the dotted line. You did not even need to read the fine print, the contract you were embarking on was clear as day.
She replies,
Does that mean I must tolerate his going out ‘with the boys’ where I know he meets other women? Maurice, I don’t think you understand what I have done for this guy. I have never been so sexual with any other guy. For 9 months, I have given my body to him, constantly on the phone wanting more of him. I have gone the extra mile to please him. Which leads me to my other issue with him. He hardly initiates a conversation on chat, its always me. Granted when we are together he makes me feel good but I want more from him. Its like we only have fun together, having sex, going out, eating and more sex. That can’t be all we will ever have.
Maurice replies,
If I may ask, is the sex close to the best or the best you have ever had?
She replies,
OK Maurice, to be honest, it is beyond the best. I am so sexually connected to him and that is why I want more from this relationship.
Maurice replies,
Well, great sex due to the stimulus levels the body receives has a way of bonding you to a person and that is exactly what has happened here. As the connection intensified you grew to know him and at some point you gradually fell in love. I can guess that sometimes he doesn’t even pick your calls because he believes it will only lead to a fight, is that correct?
She replies,
Yes, that is the excuse he uses a lot.
Maurice replies,
It is not an excuse, it is the reality. He knows he can’t deliver what you want from this relationship so he finds avenues to minimise quarrels. The truth is he never lied to you about how he wanted your relationship to work. He gave you the format and you went a long with the program. Right now you have a choice, to stay or walk away before you invest even deeper emotionally.
She replies,
Are you saying he will never change? Will he never want to settle down?
Maurice replies,
Well, only he will decide on what he wants in the future and considering he said he is not built for monogamy, I would not bet against him. There are men who are not designed for the picket fence, children and dog setting. You need to accept what you signed up for or move on. The ball is in your court.
She replies,
Maurice, I love this guy. What if I don’t find another like him?
Maurice replies,
Despite his stand on monogamy, the questions you should be asking yourself are, does he make you happy, does he make you feel like a woman…. and to add to the pudding if his sex is as great as you say it is, if I were you, considering you can’t detach his penis, I would stick around.
The fact is you can do far worse with a man who marries you and promises you bliss and ends up feeding you nothing but misery ‘day in day out’ with a combination of horrid sex. Like I said, the ball is in your court.
She replies,
Thank you Maurice. I will weigh my options and seriously consider your consult. Though I wish by some miracle he could see things through my eyes.
Lessons to learn:
Never assume a relationship will always move to the next level (whatever that means)
DO NOT associate sex with love (sex is a source of stimulus, it is driven by degrees of LUST)
Having good/great sex does not mean we are dating, it does not mean we are going to get married (it means we mutually have sex with beneficial outcomes)
Appreciate a man who tells you the bitter truth and stop celebrating men who only tell you what you want to hear as a means to an end, either way you will be fucked in more ways than one!
And please, when you have great sex DO NOT over value your vagina and down play the man’s function (when you were screaming his name and flooding the bed with squirt, someone asserted themselves to make it rain so take a moment and give credit where it is due)
#allwomendeservetoorgasm If you are a man and you don’t agree with this hashtag, please step aside and watch #orgasminducers do what they do best
mauricetherapy 
This has to be the dumbest “problem” I have come across.When will women understand that men are such simple creatures.He told you he doesn’t want one woman, you ignored and now here you are claiming that it’s unfair.Were you not told? Did he not specify that he is not an doesn’t intend to be monogamous? This is what is called “mwiba was kujidunga” A smart woman would have taken what he said to heart and left even before sleeping with him.Piece of advice ladies “Know who you are so someone doesn’t tell you who you are.” If you had done this,you would have known yourself.Known that what you are looking for is a steady commitment and that’s what you could have been out looking for.But now,you didn’t have your own set of values and opinions so you went for whichever guy.On the other hand,this man knew exactly what he wanted and made it clear.Your continued interest showed him that you understand his terms and have accepted them.Girl,next time be smart!!!!Know who you are.
Maurice,you are on point,why do women forget so first and assume stuff?nkt!!
First, if this guy wanted a cook and a cleaner, he would have hired a maid. Stop lowering yourself to that level while thinking that it will please him. It won’t. He only sees desperation in your domestic chores. Secondly, this guy made it as clear as day what he wanted. He gave you the option to take it or leave it. You chose to take it. All you’ll ever get is great sex from this guy. Nothing more. He never lied to you. You failed to listen. Guys never lie. They lay their terms of engagement very clearly. For some reason I can’t fathom, women assume the guys will come around with time. They won’t. It’s like when you meet a lady who never wants to have children. They’ll never change their mind about this. Not with time. Not with age.
Hang around for the great sex but you only have yourself to blame for the predicament you find yourself in.
In the near future, consider moving on and looking for someone who is more aligned with your goals. Good luck!
nowadays its good to fall in love with your brains, think dear.
Dear Maurice
I am am a single mother aged 32years …I dont know what am.doing wrong I keep dating all the wrong guys…I dated one for 3years long distance realised we were many others…I took a break the latest I discovered is married …I have taken a break ..I would love to see my daughter have a father who loves her n a father figure …Has it become so hard to find a life partner ?Girls straight from.college are getting married what am I doing wrong?
Mekay if you can get past my unkempt place, shabiness and thin stature all signs of an unmarried man, then please do get intouch