Dear Maurice,
I have been dating a good woman for five years and I want to propose and marry her. We are both committed Christians and we vowed to wait till marriage before having sex. We are compatible in many ways. We keep ourselves busy playing board games, quizzing each other, we are both accountants so we regularly go over our work together. But I worry about our sex life after marriage. What if I take the plunge and marry her and find that we are not compatible sexually? Is there a way to find out if we are compatible in that aspect, without having sex before marriage?
Maurice replies,
Five years without sex ‘well done’ mate. Well, before you buy a car you must drive test it and for you to establish whether you like a certain taste in food you must sample that food in order to know. So the answer to your question is ‘no’, there is no way of knowing your sexual compatibility unless you indulge in the act. You do have a valid question but considering both of you are virgins ‘I hope’ I believe once you start to explore sex, over time you will learn each other’s bodily pleasure zones and learn more about each other during your intimate sessions. In doing so you will form your own compatibility through the knowledge of what really sparks pleasure for each one of you. In my opinion, as virgins you are better placed because you have no bench marked expectations of each other sexually. Stop worrying about your sexual compatibility and embrace and nurture the bond you have for one another and await a lifetime to explore your sexual escapades together in marriage.
What I do advise ‘strongly’ is that you both make a pact never to sample outside your marriage. That action can be the downfall of your relationship. You also need to agree to be open minded to allow for both of you to research sex material together so that you are always reading from the same script. The stronger your bond the more you limit external influences and temptations.
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Those kind of men exist, damn, it’s like not eating food for 5 years, feel hungry through and through and still survive.
You can imagine what will happened if the guy is not a virgin or if one of them decides to sample outside.
Woi i stopped imagining that such men exist,all i hope z that both r virgins coz if one z not,Maurice u will have a big task of keeping this relationship n making it work.all d best.
I used to be this guy. Ok, he’s a christian, but this must be said:
“Iron Rule of Tomassi #3:
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.”
General rule!
5 years…WA! Faith moving mountains….