mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been dating this guy for 3 years and we are pretty serious about marriage but before I take that leap I need to over come something.

Maurice asks,

What do you need to over come?

She replies,

My ex. He was not really my boyfriend but we were seeing each other for almost one year till he had to fly out. He was too much fun to be the man I would settle with.

Maurice asks,

Are you still in contact with him?

She replies,

Yes.

Maurice asks,

So if it has been 3 years since your last encounter with this other guy what keeps you hooked to him to date?

She replies,

He has been back home 4 times and in that time I have met up with him and before you ask, the answer is yes we have been intimate whenever he is around.

Maurice asks,

Do you live with your current man?

She replies,

We have separate apartments but I spend most nights at his place.

Maurice asks,

So where did you say you were when you were having pillow talk with the other guy?

She replies,

I was at mum’s or with friends out of town.

Maurice asks,

What has kept you in this 3 year relationship, why not just stay single and mingle freely?

She replies,

One, I hate being alone. My boyfriend is sweet and caring. He will make a great husband and father to our kids.

Maurice asks,

Sounds awesome on paper. But does he make you run home, does he make you hot under the collar, is he your centre of seduction, without speculating I believe he is not the above. Even your response was ‘I hate being alone’, nothing remotely tells me that he is your love. You may love him but loving him like a brother will not sustain your relationship.

How much time do you put in communicating with your boyfriend compared to your communication with your ex?

She replies,

I guess I do follow up with my ex more often.

Maurice replies,

And that is because whether you like it or not, your bond with that other man is much stronger and if it has survived this long despite the distance it is pretty solid. Question, do you want to marry a man because he fulfills a certain criteria or do you want to be with the man who you unconditionally run home to.

She replies,

But I can’t be with my ex. One, because he has a family in the States. We are just hooked on our sexual compatibility and we enjoy each others company. When we are apart we look forward to our next encounter. We know we will never be together but those moments we share are worth more to us then our current relationships and that is not easy to deal with. Maurice how do I forget this guy. When I am around him I am myself. He allows me to let go and I enjoy the wild girl in me. I am an exhibitionist, I love walking around the house naked.

The way he treats me, understands me, holds me, kisses me. He has the most intimate kiss ever. He holds me tight when we cuddle or sleep. He feels so right in my arms and I don’t have that with my current boyfriend.

Maurice replies,

I wish I could give you an easy way out but addiction is not easy to step away from and especially a sexual addiction that is firmly rooted is difficult to disconnect from. You would have to eat tonnes of chocolate to replicate the feel good neurochemical reaction that runs through your brain connecting you and your ex. All I know at this point is that your current relationship in relation to you will only survive based on priority and obligation. You have life long decisions to make and remember you must stick with the choice you make.

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