mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I come to you with an extremely heavy heart. I am so drained in my marriage yet I have only been married for 2 years and I have one baby girl who is 5 years old. I am 26 and heart broken by the status of my marriage and I need to know why certain things are happening repeated despite raising my concerns to my 27 year old husband.

Maurice asks,

What is going on in your marriage?

She replies,

Since our wedding day I have had my doubts about my husband. On the day you could see clearly that he was not fully in it. His mind seemed elsewhere even as we said our vows I could read his eyes and though it was supposed to be our magical day I could sense something was amiss with my husband. You can imagine how I had to keep up appearances on my wedding day. I had a big smile on display but inside I was hurting wondering what will our future be like if on our special day my husband is not focused.  I guess he was only upbeat during our honeymoon though I must add that for 2 nights in a row he left me alone to go deep sea fishing. Granted he asked me if he could go fishing and I said yes thinking to myself how dare he ask to leave me alone. And when it comes to his obligations at home I feel like he is reluctant.

Maurice asks,

Reluctant to do what exactly?

She replies,

He does not spend time with his daughter. He only showers her with gifts every month. He never has the initiative to buy food or leave me with enough cash for our monthly household budget. I also work so I find myself buying and doing 70% of what we are supposed to share as a married couple. I only get him to commit when I make a fuss for days on end. It’s tiring, I did not sign up for this. He is just too busy or occupied to be a dedicated father and husband. We haven’t been intimate for 4 months.

Maurice asks,

What is his response to your concerns?

She replies,

He says I am a constant nag always seeking perfection in him yet he is just a man trying his best and that I keep pushing him away and that is why he stays out late or comes home after 2 days on weekends. I honesty feel like he married me because I gave him a child. He hasn’t said I love you to me for over a year. What do you advice?

Maurice replies,

You are describing a man who feels like he has to be home rather than a man who goes home because he wants to be home with his family. I know it is hurtful to be in this predicament but at this stage of your marriage it is better for your husband to open up and let the cat out of the bag instead of dragging on living a lie. Ask him if he really wanted to get married, and if indeed he ever loved you. Tell him you would rather the blunt truth than live your current life. I believe if you can make him feel comfortable to speak out he will reveal what is really on his mind. Once the truth is out you can then map out your way forward.