mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am a 29 year old woman in distress. I have been married for the last 9 years. We have 2 daughters. For the last 3 years my 38 year old husband has been acting strange, I don’t know if it is mid life crisis or there’s another underlining problem that has bothered him over that time. Granted our marriage for the last 7 years has been pretty jumpy and unpredictable but we have always somehow found a solution to our domestics.

Maurice asks,

What is your current crisis at home?

She replies,

As I said for the last 3 years my hubby has been showing signs of adultery, actually more to the point he has been seen with several young girls in clubs. To add insult to injury he has been spotted in the same social places we frequent. It’s like he does not care who sees him with these girls. I feel like a laughing stock in our social circles. He freely introduces the girls to his friends sometimes the other wives are there and they immediately call me to question my husband’s actions and to ask me why I am letting it happen and how I am tolerating such behavior.

Maurice replies,

If I may ask the same, considering it seems you have known for awhile, why do you tolerate your husband’s actions?

She replies,

When I confronted him about the girls he told me if I was bothered by his social life then I should consider leaving or he leaves, he then said ‘if it isn’t broken don’t try and fix it’ meaning I should accept status quo and let things be. I still have my children to think about and they come first. I have been a house wife all along, I have no formal qualifications and at my age it is too late to pursue higher education, I don’t even have the time with my chores as a wife and mother. My husband is the bread winner, leaving him is not an option and despite the ordeals he puts me through I am still in-love with him.

Maurice replies,

Does your husband expect his conjugal rights? He is most likely sexually active with other women, do you know if he uses protection?

She replies,

Yes he demands for sex. I’m not sure if he uses protection with other women.

Maurice replies,

That is a big concern to me and you should not risk your health just in the name of satisfying your husband’s needs. I know you are not going to leave your husband, that is very clear, but please do find out if he uses protection and also visit a clinic for an HIV test, it is paramount that you confirm your status at this point and time. If you choose to continue having sex with your husband, use protection. Please note, it is never too late to make changes in your life, yes it’s easier said than done, however ‘to move on’ is your choice to make. Knowing what you know I urge you not to risk your life, your husband could give you an STI or STD. Do something to protect you before the worst befalls you.