mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have a major issue regarding my marriage and I seriously need your consult on the matter.

Maurice asks,

What is the issue?

She replies,

My husband will be traveling to Norway for work at the end of September and he will be settling there for a minimum of 4 years.

He is actually going there for training and it requires for him to be there for a long while to acquire experience in his field of work. My greatest fear is whether as a man he will keep off women while he is there? I have known of his travel abroad for the last 7 months and its eating me up inside.

Maurice asks,

Has your husband ever given you any reason to doubt him?

She replies,

We have been married for only 3 years and we don’t even have kids yet. What is to stop him from falling for some other woman and starting a family with her? I have so many questions pending and I fear what the truth might be.

Maurice asks,

In totality, for how long have you known your husband and has he always been there for you?

She replies,

I have known him for 8 years. We have had our disagreements over the years but he has always been a loving man.

Maurice asks,

So why bother yourself with the ‘what ifs’, all you are doing is speculating over the unknown which will stress you for no apparent solid reason.

She replies,

I hear what you are saying however the truth is he may fall for another woman while he is away from me?

Maurice replies,

Yes that is a possibility but you can’t sustain your marriage in doubt, 4 years is a long time, you may equally fall under the spell of temptation, we are human after all. Is there a chance for you to join him?

She replies,

The chance was there but I turned it down because of my career, I have worked hard to get to where I am right now. Joining him would mean becoming a house wife or starting from scratch and I can’t go through that transition. We mutually agreed that it is for the best for him to go and for me to stay and anyway he will be coming home at least twice a year. I also made him promise that if he were to fall for someone he would tell me about it so we can discuss his lust for another woman.

Maurice replies,

My dear no one is promised tomorrow, its healthy for your soul to live each day as it comes. In regards to your marriage only the seeds of thought that you plant will worry you. As a couple you agreed not to disrupt each others career paths and that wasn’t easy I can imagine. Now what you need to do is be positive about the future, keep in-touch on a daily basis through the vast social media platforms that are available, look forward to your husband’s annual visits and most of all trust in each other unconditionally. Easier said than done but it is your unconditional trust and devotion that puts you apart from many couples. Your marriage will surely prevail if you believe that it will, it has to be a mutual effort.

And remember you always have the option to join him, I know your career is important to you but how important is your marriage? Can you apply a value to your marriage? If you had to make a choice between your career and husband what would it be? Consider those questions because 4 years or more is a long time apart.

She asks,

Maurice thanks for your input but in your experience with similar cases what are our chances as a couple, and please be brutally honest with me?

Maurice replies,

The truth is, the odds are against you. I am not saying that long distance relationships don’t work I am stating that they rarely do, why? The love factor between couples is not strong enough to prevent temptation. Human sexuality is your first hurdle, it is driven by bodily urges and requirements. Statistically men are the weaker gender though women too succumb to temptations especially in today’s social circles. So as you make your choice think of all the variables and external forces that may hinder a healthy marriage.