mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for the past 19 years. I am 38 and my husband is 49. We have 6 children. For the last 12 years I have lived a life of frequent misery and regret. Why do I stay only God knows. I guess it’s partly because I do not want to break up my home, my family. I believe at the beginning for a good 7 years I gave my all to this marriage. I sacrificed my further studies to sustain my family. I currently work as an administrator and that does not fulfill my ambitions or rather ambitions and dreams that I once had. I thank God for my good health and that my kids have grown with both their parents. That said, I am extremely frustrated by my husband’s behavior which has persisted since we got married.

Maurice asks,

How is your husband frustrating you?

Where do I start, how do I share my husband’s deeds that are so embarrassing. It’s not easy to share but I guess I must. My husband since I can remember has always pleasured himself once I go to bed. He has had this habit of watching adult movies in our home, in our bedroom and while watching I used to pretend I can’t hear the video playing as he pleasures himself. It’s filthy Maurice. He even does it after we have sex. It’s like he can’t get enough. I used to think I was the problem until I realize he was addicted to that behavior. For a long while I felt inadequate as his wife.

Maurice asks,

How often does he masturbate?

She replies,

He does it everyday. Not just at home but also in the office. We have a family business and our staff have reported having seen him pleasuring himself. He is their boss so they can’t raise the alarm to anyone other than report to me in confidence. He honestly can’t stay an entire day without watching those sinful videos that he downloads from the internet. At home he can be online for 6 to 7 hours before he finally comes to bed and tries to hold me and sometimes I decline his advances.

Maurice asks,

When you finally confronted him about his actions what was his response?

She replies,

He used tell me that it was normal for a man to play with himself and that I should not feel threatened after all we still have sex together so I should leave him to it.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean he used to, did he stop responding to your concerns?

She replies,

Well, 7 years ago I got so lonely that I had an affair and due to the guilt I eventually told my husband what I had done. He was hurt but he forgave me. He said that should be my lesson in life because the other man had lied about being married. Since then he uses my infidelity against me. He says at least he performs his deeds in the comfort of our home compared to me who cheated. I can’t live like this anymore, I am thinking of leaving him but what will that say about me as a wife and mother and what effects will it have on the family? I care for my husband but I’m not in-love with him anymore and haven’t been for years.

Maurice replies,

In my opinion I do not think your husband’s habit can fade away anytime soon. He is set in his ways and yes he has an addiction that in most cases is extremely hard to snap out of.  Unless you want to live the rest of your life under status quo you now have some life changing decisions to make. If you have fallen out of love with your husband then it’s not worth enduring anymore pain from your marriage. I believe you need to move on and seek your own happiness and a settled sober state of mind.