mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I really need your help, I am completely lost, I am partly to blame, I think! My marriage is on the rocks and has been for the last 6 years.

I am frustrated and it would be an under statement to call my current life a nightmare.  Over the 6 years or so I have learnt to become a loner.

I cry alone and I share with no one my problems. Not even with my girlfriends because I have learnt that they find comfort in my unfortunate dwellings. It’s like we are pretend friends, everyone hoping the next person is in more trouble than the next. If I may ask, why is that so?

Maurice replies,

If you are asking why your friends find your problems entertaining, the answer is simple; humanity has been selfish for a long time. Many close people in our life listen to your problems but there initial aim is not to assist you but to gossip about you once you leave the social forum. People, especially a common trait among women, love knowing that it’s not only them who have problems. I believe we both know that women can be very bitchy and malicious towards one another despite being long term friends. Now that we have digressed, what is the main marriage issue that you have?

She replies,

I have been married for 8 years and I have known my husband for 14 years. We started dating on the basis of a fling; we had an open relationship until the year before we decided to get married. My husband never went down on his knees to propose is what I am trying to say. After our on and off relationship we finally came to conclude that we were meant to be together and we got married.

Maurice asks,

You still are avoiding the issue?

She replies,

My husband before we got married was a complete womanizer and I guess that was attractive at the time. But I thought he would change once we got married considering it was a mutual agreement to become 100% exclusive to each other. We really in depth discussed our future and he promised me that as long as he is my husband he would honour his vows and be faithful to me. On the downside we agreed if things were not working we would be honest and come clear instead of hurting each other. This has not been the case. My husband has cheated on me 4 times in the last 6 years and I keep taking him back after his false promises and now I am getting tired of his antics. What I want to know from your perspective is if there’s a chance for him to one day change?

Maurice asks,

How old is your husband?

She replies,

He is 41 and I am 36.

Maurice replies,

This is my opinion, even if I were to have a counsel session with your husband I do not believe it would eventually change his character trait. In my experience with such men only age slows them down. At the present I don’t foresee him changing, he may make promises but most of the time promises are broken, I believe you have witnessed that already. It’s unlikely that he will ever be exclusively yours, like I said only age can slow him down and he is still in his prime. It’s unfortunate but those are the facts regarding your future. Your options are to leave or live with status quo. You may also seek a second opinion but beware of those that may have commercial interests over their ethical duty to counsel you.