mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

You are my last hope otherwise I do not see myself married for much longer?

Maurice asks,

What seems to be the problem?

She replies,

I am 29 and I have been married for just over one year and I can’t take my husband’s drinking habits anymore. He drinks heavily and the aftermath is usually a verbally abusive husband. He drinks especially from Wednesday till Sunday morning.

Maurice asks,

He drinks alone or with friends and for how long has this gone on for?

She replies,

Most of the time he is out with his boys drinking at our local bar, once in awhile he will travel out of town for a weekend drink up with his boys. When I met him 9 months before we got married he was still a drinker but it’s gotten worse over the last year. I am tired of receiving calls from him that I need to pick him up because he is too drunk to drive.

Maurice asks,

Why can’t his friends drop him home?

She replies,

Certain rules were applied to our relationship once we got married. He says that as his wife I must tend to him at all times. He will not inconvenience his friends but he will wake me up at odd hours like at 2am, 4am demanding that I pick him up. Thereafter we usually pick up his car the next day once he has sobered up.

Maurice asks,

So you pick him up even from your local or is it when he ventures out?

She replies,

Our local is still a good 5 minute drive so he can’t walk home. Honestly I am tired and fed up of his behavior. If he doesn’t change I am out of this marriage. I am not giving up but there’s only so much a woman can take from a man. I am not old skool so I will not allow my husband to treat me like a door mat for much longer. I was hoping for a give and take marriage where keeping each other happy is priority but it has hit me that my job is to baby sit my husband and remain in the house when he is out drinking.

Maurice asks,

I’m assuming you have voiced your concerns, what does he say?

She replies,

He is always promising to change when he is sober or has no money to drink.

Maurice I am so lonely, we have no kids, it’s just me dwelling in our home which feels more like an empty house with no life in it. Due to my loneliness I have even contemplated dating other men but that’s not why I got married. It’s a tempting thought but it’s not an option.

Maurice replies,

It seems to me that your husband needs to seek help with an alcoholics anonymous group but before that he needs to accept that he has a drinking problem which is affecting your marriage negatively. I also recommend that you see a therapist like myself so that we iron out a few of your issues.

She replies,

I highly doubt that he will agree to any form of counseling.

Maurice replies,

My dear I believe you have made it very clear that unless your husband takes steps to remedy his habit you will leave him, on that note you are not going to be asking him to attend counseling, you will be stipulating that it is make or break time for your marriage. He has to make a choice, if he still wants to have  you as his wife he needs to step up and make the right choices from now on.