mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am a 32 year old woman. I have been having problems communicating with my husband. We have been married for the last 6 years. I met my husband online and we quickly hit it off and eventually he came over to Kenya to live with me. I have known him for 7 years of which one year consisted of a lot of online chats, flirts and once he got here we got married. Our wedding was planned online and it was exciting and thrilling, at the time, to meet someone who we had some much in common or so I thought.

Maurice asks,

What is your dilemma, why have you lost your communication?

She replies,

Our first two years were great even with our few arguments we always made up and learnt from the experience. He was my World, my shining armour but from our third year he suddenly changed. He had an affair with a work colleague and I forgave him for his indiscretion but I always told him I would never forget and that he had to earn my trust all over again. As soon as I told him that he shut down and became distant. For years now we have lived a routine life, we barely talk nowadays; we are either busy at work or busy entertaining our two children. In the last 10 months our sex life has halted and before that it was rare like once a month. I fear he is getting it somewhere else. He says all is well between us and that he is just tired and then he turns away and falls asleep leaving me feeling unwanted.

Maurice asks,

What do your instincts tell you in regards to why you may have lost your bond?

She replies,

I am clueless I was hoping you would enlighten me on that from a man’s point of view.

Maurice replies,

This is my opinion based on the information you have given me. You met online and struck a bond which was based on anticipation, loving words and an array of artificial feelings that are generated through the cyber love World. I am not at all implying that online relationship foundations don’t work but in your case I believe you never really got to know each other well enough to justify getting married. I strongly believe that the online thrill which appeared as true love was most likely infatuation despite how real you convinced yourself it was.

She replies,

Are you saying our marriage will fail, that it is doomed?

Maurice replies,

Not at all, what I’m saying is you need to get to know each other all over again. That means you need to sacrifice time and a lot of it to fall in-love but this time round face to face. Once the fire works stopped you both went into a relationship of convenience and I’m sure he too has questions that he has asked himself regarding your long term survival as a married couple. You need to find a common ground and rekindle what it used to be like online. Easier said than done, however if your marriage is on the line you should be willing to move mountains to make things work.

Despite every thing are you in-love with your husband and can you 100% concentrate on a positive outcome from now on?

She replies,

Yes I am and yes I can.

Maurice replies,

Then the both of you need to fight for your marriage to survive. These are the trials that test your commitment to one another. If you please I can create a program of activities for you and him to follow to ignite your communication and bond.