mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am 41 years old with 2 kids; 12 years and 15 years. Not forgetting the biggest baby of the house my husband who is 44.

I say this because after 16 years of marriage I thought I knew my man well. I thought I had him all figured out but shock on me. For the last 11 years my husband and his friends, his boys, have been having nights out and he never lies to me about his whereabouts. I know he likes visiting strip clubs with his friends. For some odd coincidence they all have similar interests. My husband is like the youngest in the pack but he seems to call the shots when it comes to the social places they should visit. I am writing to you because I got tired of threatening my husband due to his obsession with these clubs, so I did a bit on reading online though some of the remedies did not go down well with me I eventually tried one that stated that if you give you husband the same atmosphere and freedom in your home backyard then you will not have to worry about him mingling with other women.

Maurice asks,

Oh, I can’t wait to hear what happen next, so you took him from the social arena and gave him your backyard as his playground. How did that turn out?

She replies,

When I proposed the idea, he was ok which surprised me because I thought he would fight me about his strip club obsession. I went for the idea and the next weekend from Friday to Saturday his friends came over with plenty of drinks and watched football or just sat at the garden and made noise.

Now here is my problem. I thought my man had the “hots” for strippers but clearly not as much as I suspected. For the last 4 months it’s been Friday and Saturday at our garden. I know I shouldn’t complain because my man is home and I don’t need to worry about the unknown but for how long will he and his friends have mini parties at our home.

Maurice asks,

Have you addressed this with your husband, have you told him you are uncomfortable with the current every weekend social gathering at your home?

She replies,

Maurice I am not a stupid woman. I know the minute I utter anything, they will return to their routine, plus we had a mutual agreement that once he shows me that he loves been around me even with his friends around I won’t bother him with complaints. My husband is not a bad man I just don’t like his habits.

Maurice comments,

Just to ease your mind. You may know this or you may not but majority of men who visit strip clubs only do it for the visual effect. For another percentage of men it becomes an addiction of sexual power. The power to buy a dance, and the power of paying for it. In most professional establishments there’s no bodily contact from the man, he can’t touch her it’s prohibited, for a man it’s just the visual stimulant and the ability to command as she displays her dancing styles. Then again, not all women will feel comfortable with the idea but just for your knowledge if your husband was a frequent brothel patron; now that would be an issue. Thankfully he is not. In short, most men when they fulfill their visual craving in strip clubs they finish their drink and go home. In my opinion your husband is not obsessed with other women; if he was he would not be turning your home into a weekend getaway. Question, I am assuming your greatest fear was not knowing what goes on at strip clubs?

She replies,

Yes that was my concern, so how do I fix this other matter?

Maurice replies,

You made a pact with your husband. Without saying that you think the weekend thing is excessive and you want his friends gone. The best thing is to tell him that you have something planned on either the Friday or the Saturday. You could stay indoors, go for a movie, go for a meal or drive out of town and enjoy being together. Honesty you don’t have an issue with your relationship, you just need to have a schedule and make sure it’s not too predicable. I believe your husband wants to be with you ‘till death do you part’ just balance out his bond with his friends without fighting and you will come so some agreement. Relationships are about communication, if you don’t ask or voice out you will never know what fruits may arise.