mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I urgently need you advise, I am emotionally lost and in need of direction. I have been married for 3 years. My husband and I moved back to Kenya from the US last year in November. About 2 years ago I opted to quit my job and travel with my husband as he pursued further studies. When we got back we moved into a new area of residence in Nairobi and things were going well until I accidentally bumped into an old friend in December. It’s a guy I grew up with when we lived in Nyeri over 20 years ago. As kids we were inseparable living in the same residential estate until we had to move to Nairobi when my father received a transfer. It was difficult to part but we had no control at the tender age of teenage hood.

Maurice asks,

So what happen that could affect your marriage when you bumped into your friend?

She replies,

Seeing him just took me back to when I was a naive teenage girl who had a secret crush on this guy but I did a good job of masking my feelings back then.

Maurice asks,

Are you saying that you felt something for him when you met?

She replies,

Not when we met, though I was a bit flushed when we made eye contact. He recognized me as I was doing my evening shopping at our local supermarket. He came over and I too immediately knew who he was. I was in shock to say the least. We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. He is also married with kids. I don’t know why but I felt inclined to call him and so I did. For the last 4 months we have met frequently for lunch or coffee and we still have a lot in common which has really confused me and made pleasuring my husband a task. I have not been unfaithful physically but emotionally I feel drawn to this other guy despite knowing that I should not be feeling this way. Is this just a phase that I am going through, this has never happen before, and my husband is such a darling I would hate to hurt him by way of infatuation?

Maurice replies,

My dear, what you are going through is only a phase dependent on the choices you make from now on. You can either pull yourself together or you can heed to temptation. We are human, sometimes we can be weak however if we still have control of ourselves then we will maintain our faculties and make sure we don’t ruin a good thing. My personal advise to you is that you refrain from seeing your old friend and go back to your marital life and hold onto your vows and love your husband as you have for the last 3 years. I wish I could tell you to stay friends but from your narration it is apparent that this guy is not a good influence and he may make you indulge in actions that you may not be able to undo. Infatuation is a strong feeling and for the weak it can be disastrous. Do not risk your marriage by maintaining contact with your old friend.

I really need you to understand that I have nothing against a woman and a man being friends but as you said this guy is influencing you to the point that you are finding it difficult to please your husband, we both know that can’t be good for your marriage. The decision is yours I hope you make the right one.