mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

 I have been married for the last 9 years, I am 38. My husband and I have had our differences over the years but what I am about to share with you has stunned me to the point of no return. It has caused 2 families that were close in my view to splinter.

Maurice asks,

I’m sorry to hear this, so what took place?

She replies,

About 4 months ago I came home to find my house-help in tears. She opened the door for me as usual; I entered only to find police officers in my sitting room. It then hit me that I had seen their vehicle outside our main gate, we live in a block of flats. I asked them why they were in my home and they told me that the house-help with the aid of an unknown lady had visited the police office to report sexual abuse from her boss, she claimed that since her undertaking of her job 4 years ago she had been raped and beaten by my husband. My husband is no saint but I knew that was impossible. In my mind something was just not adding up.

Maurice comments,

You never suspected any goings on of this nature between your husband and your house-help, is that what you are saying?

She replies,

Not in a million years and soon I was to learn the hurtful truth. One of the officers called me aside and told me that he too was skeptical, he had dealt with house-help allegations before and he had found that more than half were usual stories conjured up that were a means to an end. He asked me to stay in the kitchen as he questioned her further.

Maurice asks,

What were you thinking sat in the kitchen waiting?

She replies,

I was nervous; those were serious accusations that faced my husband. I tried to call him but his phone was off which was also a bit odd considering we were attending a dinner function that night. It was almost 7pm when I got home.

Finally the interrogation was over after an hour or so. She confessed to her deceit and said she had been paid ksh20,000 to report the matter and she would be paid another ksh20,000 once my husband was in prison. She at first was hesitating to reveal the name of the person who had put her up to this. However, when she was threatened with jail time the water works started and her verbal flood gates opened up to reveal my worst nightmare.

Maurice asks,

Who was the culprit?

She replies,

I never thought it possible but it was my younger sister by 5 years who had organized the ordeal. Once that was the case and I knew it would affect my entire family I personally threatened my house-help with my own allegations and thereafter she went to the station and retracted her statement.

Maurice asks,

Did you get through to your husband that night?

She replies,

Oh Maurice, the story only gets better. By now it was around 11pm, I decided to get dressed and attend the function. It was no surprise that I found my sister with my husband having the time of their life. I approached them and asked my husband why he was unavailable; he said his phone battery was low. I then asked him if he knew that my dear sister who he was holding in his arms when I walked in had reported him to the police through our house-help.

He turned to ask her what I was talking about and he never did get that reply because she bolted out of the function. He tried calling her but to no avail. It was very difficult to keep calm but I managed to despite putting two and two together and establishing that my own fresh and blood was having an affair with my husband.

Maurice asks,

Did you have a few words with your husband after your sister left?

She replies,

We had more than just a few words, I told him what I had already concluded and requested he not deny the obvious and be man enough to tell me the truth, after 9 years of marriage he owned me that courtesy.

He admitted that they had an affair for 3 years and that he had broken it off with her 2 week prior but they agreed to stay friends. I asked him why he broke it off. He had the nerve to tell me that he was tied of living a lie and that it had suddenly hit him that I was the woman for him not my sister.  He also did not want to hurt our 2 kids who were both in boarding at the time of the saga.

Maurice asks,

What did you do after he admitted his betrayal?

She replies,

I told him that I wanted a divorce and that I was driving home. I also told him that he should not come home till the next day, if he wanted a change of clothes I would leave them with the guards and that in the morning I was leaving to a friends place where I stayed for a month and not wanting to over stay my welcome I retreated to my parents house where I was welcomed with open arms. My sister is currently an outcast, my parents don’t want anything to do with her and have cut all communication with her.

It is so difficult to know that what was once your home, your intact family is now no more. My children are asking where their father is and I don’t know what to tell them apart from “your Daddy and I have taken a break from each other”. When they persistently ask why, I give them a string of lame excuses and yet I know they are old enough to understand what is going on.

What I want to know is how did this all occur right before my very eyes and I had no clue of an affair going on? How could he do this to me after giving him my life?

Maurice asks,

I’m I to assume that your sister and your husband were openly close?

She replies,

Yes they were, from way back before we even got married. They would have lunches, hang out at clubs or at our local, play tennis and golf together over the weekend, I was not much of a sporty person so I allowed my husband to be in the company of my sister because they had similar interests and trusting my sister was not in question I just did not imagine family could back stab you in that way. Before you ask, I did share quality time with my husband, my sister was only filling in the gaps when we had our ‘me’ time.

Maurice replies,

It’s unfortunate that your husband and sister betrayed you. In my view, I think that their relationship bond begun years ago as you have stated they had a lot in common, during the hours they spent together they grew fonder and eventually one thing led to another.

I always tell men if there’s a problem in your marriage, attempted to solve it between you and your wife and if that fails because ‘love’ for some does fade after awhile, then do the right thing and part ways, so that you free each other to avoid hurting each other with acts of adultery. It’s easier said then done but I believe in confronting the issue in hand before seeking side kicks that will only make things worse.

Your husband was weak and from your sister’s actions she was a very determined woman who had to get her way. They grew closer and seduced each other into an affair. When he broke it off she tried to punish him with jail time. Again, your husband made his bed and despite his regret when the damage was already done, he should have been the stronger man and refrained from your sister’s lure.

Whatever you do never ever blame yourself there’s nothing you could have done, you were a loving liberal wife and unfortunately that went against you. Don’t change your character for anyone or towards anyone, people make choices and many of those choices have consequences. You did your best as a wife and mother now concentrate on living your life, again easier said than done but you must move on. Life is too short to dwell on the past that you had no control over.