mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am a heart broken man. I met my girlfriend 4 years ago and we hit it off. We met at a mutual friend’s house party and I immediately knew she was the one for me. I should have probably known better than to date a woman who was very materialistic however I could afford whatever she asked for, at the beginning it felt great to provide for her as my woman.

 Last week I went over to her place unannounced and witnessed the one thing a man does not wish to witness. I look through her sitting room window after my knocks went unanswered and I saw her with another man having sex on the sofa. My whole World was spinning, I couldn’t move or speak, I did not know what to do so eventually after I had seen enough I walked away and drowned myself in a bottle of Famous at a nearby local. I sat there for about 4 hours, even my thoughts were distorted, all I can remember is asking myself why why why??? how could she do this after I gave her everything she ever desired.

Maurice asks,

So you never doubted her before this incident, and how old are you both?

He replies,

No, I did not suspect her of cheating on me, I guess she’s a good actress. I thought our relationship was going somewhere, I had major plans for us, to have family with her. She is was my everything, I don’t think I can love again. She is 26 and I am 38.

Maurice replies,

You say she is materialistic however majority of woman are, its only the degree that various. Basically most women want to be treated out, bought gifts, pampered, it makes them feel loved, wanted, I’m sure you get my drift.

He replies,

Maurice, when we met she was working, very independent and mature or so I thought. Our first date cost me over 10k, she asked we meet at Serena for dinner. Personally I had only visited Serena for functions but not as a socialising place. I can afford to socialise at such venues but they are not my cup of tea. I am a typical Kenyan nyama choma guy, I like the simple things in life despite doing well for myself financially. Anyway, in the years together I have bought her a car, set a business up for her which is thriving, I pay her rent and utility bills, because I want to, not because she asked me to. How can she then not appreciate me after making her my priority.

Every year I would take her on 3 holidays abroad, I gave her the life a woman deserves and what do I get in return, she stabs me in the back by having an affair with her neighbor who I know very well. This is a guy I have shared drinks with for the last 3 years, we have traveled around the Country on weekend breaks as a group and after all that the guy has shown to have no mutual respect for me. I thought real men have a code that we don’t break, of which one is, our women are off limits. If two men are friends why would you want to vibe my woman when there are so many women to pick from.

Maurice asks,

How old is this guy if you don’t mind me asking?

He replies,

He is 28, such an asshole, I feel like ruining his life.

Maurice replies,

I hear you, its painful to be in your position but as much as this guy is not playing by the rules of true gents, its not him that you should direct your anger to, forgive me but your girlfriend did not slip and fall on top of him, that’s just fact. She consciously and willingly cheated on you and what I would advise is that you back off  and don’t confront her about it, as you have not mentioned contacting her I am assuming you have gone silent on her since last week, true?

He replies,

Yes, because I don’t know if I will be rational about it. I am afraid of how I might react if I see her in person. She has tried to call me several times but I don’t pick her calls or reply to her emails. Her last text said “hi baby I am worried about you, are you ok xoxo”. Women are just full of shit and I will assert my revenge on her, that is the only way I can deal with this.

Maurice replies,

Meaning what, don’t do anything you may regret or that could get you in trouble with the law.

He replies,

Is sleeping with her friends against the law?

Maurice replies,

That is an instinctive response for a tit for tat payback strategy but it won’t change what has occurred neither will it take the pain away. It is a short term ego mending thrill however it’s upto you, everyman has his way of dealing with your situation.

He replies,

Explain this, why am I hating her so  much yet I still feel in-love with her at the same time?

Maurice replies,

Well, you obviously put your heart and soul into the relationship hence why you are hurting and you can’t let go of her. Human feelings and emotions have a way of ignoring all logic.

He asks,

So what are my options?

Maurice replies,

Like I said, for now lay low, let her have a taste of your silent treatment. When you feel you can rationally speak to her just call her and tell her that you know about her and the neighbor then say goodbye and disconnect your conversation. I believe from there it will be your choice to either terminate communication with her or not.

If I may, is her sex one of the prime reasons why you can’t let go, you are 38 so can I assume you have played the field enough to know whats out there?

He replies,

Yes to all the above.

Maurice replies,

I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes. Let me know what you decide but don’t get in trouble because of her regardless of how the sex is, I know its easier said than done but you must refrain from any confrontation that may lead to a over blown fight, you know what I mean. Another thing, do not show her any weakness, if you do she will have the upper hand and manipulate the situation.