mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am 31 with curves to die for, thought you should know. I would say that I am pretty out going and  love to meet new people. Last year in December while holidaying I met the guy of my dreams in South Coast.

 He is 38, very romantic, very sensual, highly sexually active, which makes a change compared to my past experiences and he has a heart of gold. He loves travelling around the country doing conservation work and he also loves deep sea diving and I actually had a go reluctantly but he really made me feel comfortable and safe. Feelings I never felt with any other guy. I have been in 3 other serious relationship and they just don’t compare in anyway with how this guy treats me.

In August I decided to take him home to meet my parents and that did not go as I had expected. Don’t get me wrong he received a good welcome however after we left a few days later I was called back home and my father made it very clear that he was not ok  with me dating a white guy. The one guy who treats me so good ends up being rejected by my father. Mum is on the fence if you ask me but the weird thing is that my parents raised me and my siblings to believe that all people were equal regardless of race. I went to schools that had plenty of white kids and over the years my parents never showed any reservations towards my multicultural circle of friends. So I can have white friends but I can’t date a white man is that it? I am ashamed of my parents especially in this day and age, skin colour should not be an issue. I plan to continue dating him but how do I make my parents understand that my happiness comes first?

Maurice’s reply,

My dear. Despite the obivious I don’t see an issue at all. Yes your Dad is against you dating a white guy ‘so what’, he’s not the one sleeping with him. Our parents will always have an opinion on who we should date or marry. As it is in this day and age we still have parents who would strongly prefer that couples be of the same tribe, sometimes you can be of the same tribe but the problem is you happen to come from a region they particularly don’t like, illogical excuses. Very few people can tell you that they never had any huddles with their parents regarding dating. No one is every good enough.

You must also look at it from your Dad’s point of view, maybe you have never taken a guy home and if you have your parents must have sensed that you were really into this guy and that probably took them by surprise and Dads do find it hard to muster that their baby girl is all grown up and she has fallen for a guy. Your mum is not on the fence she already knew the day would come and she just had to play it cool for your Dad’s sake if you get my drift.

I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. It was the first meeting, did you realistically think your Dad would hug the guy and kiss him on the forehead like they do in Mafia movies! Your Dad hardly knows this new-ish guy, I believe a few more visits and letting the ‘two men bond’ will give your Dad the chance to assess the guy face to face and get to know him without you and your mum watching over them.

The good news for you is that studies do show that Interracial relationships do work and I am glad you are sexually compatible (it’s important), however the one obstacle is usually family. Issues can arise due to religious or cultural concerns. However if you as a couple can showcase solidarity in your relationship, having each other’s backs at all times then you have a better chance of making it long term. You have to be a bit stun with your parents its the only way your relationship will survive and hopefully in time your parents will respect you for standing your ground, yes there is the matter of respecting your parents wishes but your happiness MUST come first. Parents often forget how their relationship got to where it is, they too had to over come an array of reservations from their parents. But they over came hence why you exist.